What’s more, taking into account that most scammers are not from the US/UK, it’s extremely difficult to punish them by law. Say, if a scammer is from Russia or China, it’s impossible to initiate a lawsuit against them, and even if a scammer is, for example, from Europe, the chances are very high that the process will be too complicated and time-consuming.
So, if punishing them is not an option and finding a 100% scam-free dating site is not an option either, there’s only one thing you can do: minimize the risks and avoid getting scammed.
Here, we’ll tell you everything about it.
What are mail order bride scams?
First of all, let’s answer this question: Are mail order brides legit? Or are they just scammers?
In short, they are real. There are lots of legit and trusted mail order bride websites where you can meet thousands of real women from all over the world. Thousands of men from the United States marry mail order brides every year and the number of such marriages is constantly increasing.
Scammers are real, too. “Mail order bride scam” is when a person pretends to be a mail order bride on a dating website with the intention of stealing money from another person. But it’s not only about stealing money directly.
How do mail order bride scams work?
The most common type of mail order bride scam is when a scammer asks you to send them money for medical expenses, debts, or other emergencies. With all the simplicity and directness of such a method, it works because not everyone is aware of MOB scams and, more importantly, scammers can be incredibly good at making up stories.
But it’s not the only thing you need to know about.
Some scammers may go another way—for them, it’s preferable to steal your credit card information. Obviously, they don’t just ask for a CVC code because it’s very suspicious. Instead, they make you click their link and enter your credit card information on their site. It might be a website with gifts, for example, and you will be thinking you buy your mail order bride flowers or her favorite perfume. In reality, you will not “buy” anything; you’ll just give them your credit card number, expiration date, and code.
After that, maybe in a few hours, maybe in a few months, they’ll use this information to buy something like a laptop or a smartphone on Amazon and to get it delivered to their place. By “their” place, we don’t mean their real homes because, as we’ve already said, most of these scammers are not even from the United States. We’re talking about special services provided by other criminals—they have special “drop addresses,” special locations where they send goods purchased illegally. What’s even worse, for you, it’s not just about losing money but also about your credit score being hurt, your time being wasted, and so on.
Another common mail bride scam is actually blackmail. We all know how it works: you exchange photos and probably even videos, and then you get that email where they want you to send them BTC, or they’ll send these photos and videos to every one of your friends, relatives, colleagues, etc. And even if you give them what they want, what’s to keep them from repeating this procedure in a month?
The last thing you need to know about is scam dating sites. They might look like real websites, but all the users there are non-existent; they are just fake profiles created by the site’s team in order to maintain the illusion that you’re chatting with real people. On these websites, you will probably not meet any scammers we’ve just talked about—most likely, no one will ask you for money here. In such a situation, it’s the very process of communication with “brides” that is a scam. The victims of this scam just pay for it and get nothing in return.
These are the most common scams you need to be aware of. In reality, there are more of them, but if you know about these 3, that’s enough.
However, that’s not all you need to know.
What should you look out for in mail order bride scams
Here, we’re going to tell you how to spot a scammer on a mail order bride platform. These 5 red flags are extremely important, and even one is enough to block a suspicious user and never continue your communication with them.
The mail order bride scams red flags
Fake profiles
That’s how it always works: mail order bride scammers always use fake profiles to reach their victims. Of course, there might be some “gold-diggers” who use their real photos and real names, but they are very rare nowadays (and very easy to spot).
So, fake profiles. Most scammers have a “quantity over quality” motto, so they don’t waste time to make their profiles 100% realistic. Why waste time when you can create 2 or 3 more profiles instead?
That’s why it’s typically very easy to spot them. Fake profiles are usually empty, have only a few photos, and are never ID-verified, even if such a service exists on a dating site.
Of course, not all of them are like this. Some scammers invest heavily in making their profiles look realistic, but the absence of the ID verification badge gives them away.
Well, no, technically, they can get that badge, too, with some Photoshop skills. Luckily, it’s not the only red flag.
Asking for money
As you already know, it’s the most popular mail order bride scam out there. They just make up a sad story about their dog, laptop, or mom and ask you for money—that’s all they do. What’s even more important to understand here, they are always in a hurry.
Too fast pace
The point is, scammers don’t usually spend too much time building up the story. In most cases, it’s 1, 2, or maybe 3 days of communication, and it’s not like they’ll spend hours chatting with you.
Why is that? Because that’s just not their strategy. Let’s say the “denial rate” is very high for scammers, and people often understand they are about to get scammed, so scammers might not get what they want even if they invest a lot of time in communication with a victim.
That’s why it makes no sense for them to focus on the quality, and that’s why they are always in a rush. Day 1, that girl says she loves you, day 2, she says she wants to be your wife, day 3, her laptop died and she just can’t buy a new one to continue chatting with you. That’s how it works.
Sending links
Phishing, malware, viruses, all that stuff—these are the reasons why you should not click the links they send to you. Even if it’s a Facebook link (it’s not real Facebook and you’ll lose your account after entering your login and password). They can send you a stealer to get all your logs and passwords or a simple virus that will block your laptop, there are many different problems you might get after clicking the links.
Contacting you outside the dating site
Typically, when we’re talking about a legit mail order bride site, the lifespan of a scammer is not too long. You block and report it, and if it’s really a scammer, the profile will be deleted in a few minutes.
This leaves almost no room for them, and that’s why they always want to contact their victims outside a dating site. Typically, it’s the emails: unfortunately, some dating sites are just not that good at keeping this data to themselves. So if you get a lot of emails after registration on a mail order bride site, that’s it—these are the scammers who want to get your money.
How to avoid mail order bride scams?
The good news is that it’s totally possible to minimize the risks. Here’s how.
#1. Choose only the best dating sites
You can meet a mail order bride scammer even on the best mail bride website; that’s a fact. However, the chances of meeting scammers are much, much lower there. Legit dating platforms don’t just have professional customer service teams that eliminate any threat, they also have ID or even video verification tool. With these tools, it’s almost impossible to create a fake profile.
#2. Use your common sense
Be realistic, that’s what we mean here. If you are a new user without a profile picture and you get 3 messages from the hottest ladies you’ve ever seen, this must feel suspicious. If you know her for 1-2 days and she says she needs money for her visa (because she already loves you), it’s suspicious, too.
#3. Pay attention to the details
Like, you must always google their photos, it’s the #1 rule here. You google the photo, see that this photo is used on 5 other dating sites, and that’s it—congratulations, you’ve just spotted a scammer.
But that’s not all. For example, with all those AI tools that produce photorealistic pictures, you might find nothing on Google, and it’ll still be a fake profile. We highly recommend you pay special attention to the details on the photo: Does the background look real? Is there a text on that photo (AI usually generates complete gibberish when it comes to the text)? Is everything ok with the hands and fingers?
And, of course, the profile description/bio. Is it realistic? Does a woman in the profile picture look like the woman with that personal traits/personal story? Or are there lots of suspicious things about it?
#4. Follow 2 basic safety rules
It’s very simple:
- Never send money to someone you’ve met online
- Never share the information that can hurt you if leaked
Seriously. With these two rules, you’ll minimize all the chances of getting scammed on that mail order bride website.
Conclusion
So, once again: Are mail order brides a scam? Our answer is “No” here. There are many legit dating sites and thousands of real women who really want to meet a man from a Western country for a serious relationship.
You just need to find them.
And that’s why you need only the best, the most trusted, and the most reputable dating platforms. With such websites, you’ll have the highest chances of finding a bride and the lowest chances of meeting a scammer. Just don’t forget that even with such sites, you still need to be on alert.
But don’t be “too” much on alert anyway. Follow the basic rules from the previous paragraphs, always double-check everything, and never send money to people on MOB sites—and you will have a great, safe, and successful online dating journey.
Written byJohn Millerstone, Author
We decided to create this project because we’re tired of the situation in the industry. 10 years ago, there were like 40% good sites and 60% bad ones. Today, the ratio is more like 10% to 90%, and that’s not how I want it to be. I mean, it kills me that when an American man types “mail order brides” on Google, there is a 90% possibility that he won’t even find a good dating site, let alone find a bride. I want to change that.
Edited byMargarita Zhigalova, Contributing Editor
Two friends of mine wanted to find a husband abroad. They were scammed, lost money, and never got back to that idea. That’s just not right; the situation with these sites needs to change. I believe that we can change that together, and I’m sure that we can help more people find love abroad, exactly like I did!
