Here, we’re going to answer all of your questions. Like, how do mail order brides work? How to become a mail order bride? And are mail order brides a real thing? Continue reading this guide and you’ll find all the answers.
Key takeaways about what is it like to be a mail order bride?
- It’s 100% legal to be a mail order spouse, and it’s 100% legal for an American man to marry a mail order bride. Mail order brides can enter the US on a K-1 visa legally, get married, and become US permanent residents after the marriage. 3 years later, a mail order wife can apply for US citizenship.
- Mail order brides are still a thing. There was a decline in 2020 because it was very hard to get a visa, but today, the industry is on its rise and the number of brides is growing.
- Finding a husband on a “normal” dating site is extremely unlikely. Those who are searching for foreign husbands and wives meet on special mail order bride sites. These sites are only for those interested in a serious relationship, and one of the best mail order bride websites today is YouMeTalks (it’s trusted, legit, and very popular).
- The most popular mail order bride regions are Asia, South America, and Eastern Europe, but it’s possible to become a mail bride even if you are not from one of these regions.
- One of the most important things you’ll have to do to succeed is create an attractive, detailed dating profile that would make men text you.
- Meeting in person is necessary; you can’t make your online-only relationship serious (in the US, a visa applicant must meet a bride in person). Typically, mail order brides meet their partners within 3–4 months after their first online conversation (but this is not a rule).
How does the “mail order bride” industry work in 2024?
So, as we’ve just said, the industry is thriving, and it’s not just words. The online dating market size value was around USD 10 billion, and in 2030, it’s going to be USD 17 billion—this is the best proof of what we just said. The mail order bride market, as a part of the bigger online dating market, is going to grow, as well.
The same is true of the number of brides. Just take a look at the number of K-1 (fiancee) visas issued to foreigners from 2020 to 2022:
- 16,849 visas in 2020
- 19,218 visas in 2021
- 21,351 visas in 2022
Of course, the number of mail order bride sites is also growing—we did a lot of tests and saw that dozens of MOB platforms were created in 2022 and 2023. Not all of them are good, of course, but still.
What’s more, the number of potential mail order brides from various regions is increasing, too! It’s not always a good thing, though. For example, in Japan, the number of young people rejecting marriage is increasing every year, and all those Japanese women who’d like to get married have no other choice but to turn to mail order bride websites. There are literally tens of thousands of Japanese mail order brides who are beautiful, educated, elegant… and completely unable to find a husband in their country.
Obviously, the number of Eastern European brides is also rising because of the Russo-Ukrainian war and a very large number of refugees.That’s an overview of the situation in the mail order bride industry as of 2024. Now, let’s continue—it’s time to talk about how this whole mail order bride thing works and how to become a mail order American bride!
Who is a mail order bride today?
So, what is a mail order bride? It’s a woman who wants to find a husband online. Most mail order brides come from regions such as Asia, South America, and Europe, but technically, you can be a mail order bride even if you’re in the United States. If you’re using a MOB site with the intention of finding a husband (and he is not from your city), you’re a mail order bride, too.
In fact, the concept has been the same since the 1990s: women meet men online, then they meet in person, and if everything is going smoothly, they get married. It’s the details that changed. Thus, from our experience, a few decades ago, the average mail order bride was in her early 20s, and today, a mail order bride is a lady in her 30s or 40s. Another difference is that 20 or 30 years ago, most mail order brides were more like “trad wives” with very traditional views, traditional families, and traditional values. Today, mail brides are generally more “traditional” than American women, but at the same time, they are much more Westernized and liberal than they were a few decades ago.
How to become a mail order bride?
How to sign up as a mail order bride? How to succeed? Read this to find out.
1. Choose a reliable mail order bride site
The first thing you’ll need to do is choose a trusted dating site with real people. Unfortunately, there are many fake dating/MOB websites with bots and scammers, and that’s now what you need for a pleasant experience.
Here’s how to do it:
- Choose the region—typically, regions such as Latin America, Eastern Europe, and Asia are covered by niche dating sites. However, if you don’t want to focus on one region (or if you’re from a region not represented by a separate site), you can just choose the best site out there. It’s YouMeTalks we’re talking about (a full review is available here).
- Then, google the MOB sites and read the site’s reviews. Reputation is extremely important, and it’s almost impossible to sugarcoat the problems in today’s online dating industry. Like, if there are many scammers on a site, you’ll definitely find a lot of reviews mentioning this problem.
- But be careful with the negative reviews. The point is, even the best mail order bride sites may have some negative reviews because, you know, nobody’s perfect. It’s important to separate “normal” negative reviews (like when people are unhappy with the search tool or with the pricing policy of a site) from the “red flag” negative reviews (like when people write about scammers or fake profiles).
- Compare the features of the sites. If we’re talking about a long-distance relationship, you would probably want that site to have many extra features to help you spice things up. YouMeTalks, for example, has a gift delivery service and allows users to exchange photos and videos, which is very important for such couples.
Now, when you finally choose a good mail order bride platform, let’s continue.
2. Sign up as a mail order bride
The next thing you’ll need to do is sign up for that website. Let’s see what this process looks like:
- First, you enter your name, birth date, and your email address.
- After that, you’ll need to answer a few questions about yourself and upload a photo (you can do it later).
- When it’s done, you’ll be able to give a Like to a person you’d like to chat with.
That’s all, basically. You’ll be able to verify your identity (highly recommended) and email address later, but it’s not mandatory.
After the registration, you’ll need to answer several questions about your personality traits. It’s very important to provide correct answers because that’s how all those men will understand you’re a perfect match for them.
Then, you’ll need to write the profile bio and upload some photos. Here’s some useful information about the pictures:
- Be careful with group photos. It’s ok to have one, probably, but not more than that.
- Don’t focus on face pictures only. Full-body pictures work much better!
- It’s not only about fashion shots. Look, the point here is, guys love such photos, but if we’re talking about those in their 40s and 50s who are interested in a serious relationship, they would love to see some simple photos, too. What’s more, for some men, a profile full of fashion photos screams “fake” and you don’t want your profile to look fake, right?
- Do not skip this step. It’s better to have a photo than not to have it, so even if you don’t have any pictures that would meet all those requirements, well… You still have nice selfies, right?
What’s then? You’ll have to browse.
3. Browse profiles
We’re not going to spend much time here. Mail order bride websites have search filters, you’ll have to use these search filters to find a match.
What should you pay attention to when it comes to male profiles?
- First of all, it’s the ID verification. On YouMeTalks, people can verify their profiles, so the profiles with the Validated tag are 100% real. Focusing on such accounts will minimize your chances of meeting a fake profile/scammer.
- Then, there are the photos. Does a person have a lot of them? That’s good because those who create fake profiles upload one or two. What’s more, you can use the Google Reverse Image search tool to see if a certain photo has been used on other dating sites.
- Then, there are other details like extra personal information and the “feed” of a person. If a man has been using a dating site for a while, it’s most likely not a fake profile, and he’s most likely interested in something serious. The same is true about the extra personal information: if a man has all those questions answered, you’ll know more about him even before starting the conversation.
Take a look at this random male profile from YouMeTalks: it’s verified, it has a lot of photos, a profile description, and even a feed with even more photos. It’s 100% a real person.
4. Choose one of them and start chatting
The good news is that on mail order brides, it’s usually men who text first. You will literally get several messages right after the registration, even if you have 0 photos, and it’s not that these will be messages from the bots.
But still, you need to know how to start chatting. Here are the three main rules:
- Remember that icebreakers must be personal. Yes, you can send a “hello, how’s it going” message and still get a reply, but we’re here for a serious relationship, right? So, let’s be serious from the very beginning. Pay attention to the profile of a man, and find “hooks” like his hobbies, goals, or familiar places in his pictures. Use these hooks to write a personalized message that will stand out from the generic ones.
- If a man sends you a message, there are two simple rules. First, answer his questions. Second, encourage conversation: don’t ask yes/no questions; focus on open-ended questions instead; don’t interrupt after asking a question (if you use a live chat).
- Do not be overly sexual. While testing the mail order bride sites, we saw a lot of girls who wanted to stand out from the crowd and used sex for this purpose. The point here is an overly sexualized woman with an aggressive messaging style has lower chances of being seen as a potential mail order wife. But it’s up to you, of course.
What else do you need to know?
5. Do not ghost
Why? Well, because it’s bad.
“Ghosting” is disappearing without a trace and it’s extremely common when it comes to online dating. Thus, according to a study, 3 out of 4 people dating have either ghosted or been ghosted by their partners, so it’s an important thing, actually. If you don’t want to continue communication, just say it and let it go, that’s how dating etiquette works.
When it comes to the “how does mail order bride work?” question, it’s important to understand that it’s all about constant communication.
Conclusion
So, how to be a mail order bride? Technically, it’s very easy: you just find a mail order bride website, sign up, and start chatting with men there. Be confident, be yourself, be open-minded, and show that you have the qualities these men are interested in—and you’ll have no problems finding a foreign husband.
If you want to know more about mail order brides legality or about what it actually means to be a mail order bride, don’t miss our guides—we have a lot of useful information there.
Frequently asked questions
Written byMargarita Zhigalova, Contributing Editor
Two friends of mine wanted to find a husband abroad. They were scammed, lost money, and never got back to that idea. That’s just not right; the situation with these sites needs to change. I believe that we can change that together, and I’m sure that we can help more people find love abroad, exactly like I did!
Edited byJohn Millerstone, Author
We decided to create this project because we’re tired of the situation in the industry. 10 years ago, there were like 40% good sites and 60% bad ones. Today, the ratio is more like 10% to 90%, and that’s not how I want it to be. I mean, it kills me that when an American man types “mail order brides” on Google, there is a 90% possibility that he won’t even find a good dating site, let alone find a bride. I want to change that.
